what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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