so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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