I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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