The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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