i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
