So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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