I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
