# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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