i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Please, let me fuck your mom
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
