Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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