I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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