Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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