Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
