well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do herpes really smell.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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