we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No...this little piggys going to the bar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
