Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
