i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
