i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
