I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
