Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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