"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
