You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love having hate sex.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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