Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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