i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
