he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
