Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
