Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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