how can u be prego again
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
