Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
