redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
