YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My penis needs a shock collar
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
