Plan B is the new Plan A
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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