quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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