Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize