Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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