so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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