found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize