what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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