once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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