I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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