There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
