When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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