do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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