His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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