Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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