She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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