and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
