I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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