Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
