Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
