This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
