all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
