We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
