He kissed a someone with a penis
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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