Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
