so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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