i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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