Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sponge bath it is.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
