i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
