I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
