The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
